灰

好久没发文了...不是没东西写，只是觉得好累好累。不想写，更不想思考。我也想看着想着美好的，充满正能量的一面走下去...可是今天，就今天...可以让我灰一天吗？因为，累了。


各种疼痛和不适，堆积在一起，搞得我不能专心读书。吃药，结果对药物敏感，整个人都肿起来。找医生帮忙，接着让身体暴露在辐射和恐怖的噪音下，结果发现更多之前不知道的问题。有时候我真的想放弃求医的努力...因为由始至终根本没解决到问题，反而让我更烦恼，承受更大的压力。


又翻开新的一页...本来以为应该没什么大问题...怎知道又再次让别人把我推出去啃死猫。回想起来其实觉得很不公平，有些愤怒。大家都站在同一个点上，为什么就是要我去承受？本来还想坚决反对，可是死猫已经啃了下去，就算了。反正三个星期不会很漫长。不要告诉我这样可以学习什么什么之类的鬼话，我现在火烧得很旺，不想听道理~


最近也发现，原来我以为的事情，真的只是我以为而已。其实事实早已摆在眼前，我们为什么不去正视？是害怕还是早已放弃？现在我也没有多余的力气去理会...


看了就当是看疯子在发疯吧。

The One That Got Away by Katy Perry

Summer after high school when we first met

We make out in your Mustang to Radio head

And on my 18th birthday we got that chain tattoos

Used to steal your parents' liquor and climb to the roof

Talk about our future like we had a clue

Never plan that one day I'd be losing you

And in another life I would be your girl

We keep all our promises, be us against the world

And in other life I would make you stay

So I don't have to say you were the one that got away

The one that got away

I was dreaming you were my Johnny Cash

Never one, we got the other, we made a pact

Sometimes when I miss you, I put those records on, whoa

Someone said you had your tattoo removed

Saw you downtown singing the blues

It's time to face the music, I'm longer your muse

And in another life I would be your girl

We keep all our promises, be us against the world

And in another life, I would make you stay

So I don't have to say you were the one that got away

The one that got away

The one, the one, the one

The one that got away

All these money can't buy me a time machine, no

Can't replace you with a million rings, no

I should've told you what you meant to me, whoa

'Cause now I pay the price

In another life I would be your girl

We keep all our promises, be us against the world

And in another life, I would make you stay

So I don't have to say you were the one that got away

The one that got away

The one, the one, the one, the one

And in another life I would make you stay

So I don't have to say you were the one that got away

The one that got away

The Man That Can't be Moved by The Script

Going Back to the corner 

where I first saw you

Gonna camp in my sleeping bag 

I'm not gonna move

Got some words on cardboard, 

got your picture in my hand

saying, "if you see this girl 

can you tell her where I am"

Some try to hand me money, 

they don't understand

I'm not broke, I'm just 

a broken hearted man

I know it makes no sense 

but what else can I do?

How can I move on 

when I'm still in love with you?

Cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me

and your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be

Thinkin maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet

And you'll see me waiting for you on the corner of the street

So I'm not moving, I'm not moving

Policeman says "son you can't stay here"

I said, "there's someone I'm waiting for 

If it's a day, a month, a year"

Gotta stand my ground even if 

it rains or snows

If she changes her mind 

this is the first place she will go

Cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me

and your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be

Thinkin maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet

And you'll see me waiting for you on the corner of the street

So I'm not moving, I'm not moving

I'm not moving, I'm not moving

People talk about the guy that's waiting on a girl

ohhh..

There are no holes in his shoes but a big hole in his world

ohhh..

Maybe i'll get famous 

as the man who can't be moved

Maybe you wont mean to 

but you'll see me on the news

And you'll come running to the corner

cuase you'll know it's just for you

I'm the man who can't be moved

I'm the man who can't be moved

Cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me

and your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be

Thinkin maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet

And you'll see me waiting for you on the corner of the street

So I'm not moving, I'm not moving

I'm not moving, I'm not moving (x2)

Going Back to the corner where I first saw you

Gonna camp in my sleeping bag I'm not gonna move

All day, I can only think about the PAIN. 

Can't you just spare me the agony? 

Sometimes I really want to ask

 "why me...?"

Though I'm not saying I'm a good person but still..why me? 

I Just Don't want to Think of a Title.

All the pain and the numbness. Can you seriously leave me alone? =_=


All the unpleasant things. Can you just stop happening? At least for now? 


I feel like screaming at the top of my voice. 


Man I'm tired. 

Time

委屈

有时想起那件事

还是会觉得委屈
我哭过
怨过
害怕过
后悔过

只是我的确做错了

而你也不可能接受道歉

那我能怎样？

你又想我怎么做？

我只是

有点不服气

有点不知所措

甚至有点愤怒

为什么

想承认自己的错误

想要道歉

也是那么难的事情？

也许是我太天真

以为

什么事都可以用一句

“对不起”

来解决

其实哪有那么简单

唉...

Outside the window

In the morning. Two cute fluffy clouds hanging over HUKM.

Noon time. Look at the amount of clouds~!

Afternoon. Super sunny...>_<

Brighter than the Sun by Colbie Caillat

 Stop me on the corner

I swear you hit me like a visionI, I, I wasn't expectingBut who am I to tell fate where it's supposed to go with it

Don't you blink, you might miss itSee we got a right to just love it or leave itYou find it and keep it'Cause it ain't every day you get the chance to say

Oh, this is how it starts, lighting strikes the heartIt goes off like a gun, brighter than the sunOh, it could be the stars falling from the skyShining how we want, brighter than the sun

I never seen it, but I found this love, I'm gonna feed itYou better believe I'm gonna treat itBetter than anything I've ever had'Cause you're so damn beautiful

Read it, it's signed and delivered, let's seal itBoy, we go together like peanuts and PaydaysMarley and reggaeAnd everybody needs to get a chance to say

Oh, this is how it starts, lighting strikes the heartIt goes off like a gun, brighter than the sunOh, it could be the stars, falling from the skyShining how we want, brighter than the sun

Everything is like a white out 'cause we shook-a-shook-a shine downEven when the, when the light's out but I can see you blowGot my head up in the rafters, got me happy ever afterNever felt this way before, ain't felt this way before

I swear you hit me like a visionI, I, I wasn't expectingBut who am I to tell fateWhere it's supposed to go

Oh, this is how it starts, lighting strikes the heartIt goes off like a gun, brighter than the sunOh, it could be the stars, falling from the skyShining how we want, brighter than the sun

Oh, this is how it starts, lighting strikes the heartIt goes off like a gun, brighter than the sunOh, it could be the stars, falling from the skyShining how we want, brighter than the sun

Brighter than the sunBrighter than the sunBrighter than the sun

Oh, this is how it starts, lighting strikes the heartIt goes off like a gun, brighter than the sunOh, this is how it starts, lighting strikes the heartIt goes off like a gun, brighter than the sun

Oh, this is how it starts, lighting strikes the heartIt goes off like a gun, brighter than the sunOh, this is how it starts, lighting strikes the heartIt goes off like a gun, brighter than the sun

I Lurve Mary Jane =D

I have to post this...

I'm deeply in love with Mary Jane!

She's not a girl,

But a type of shoe~ haha

You know what they say...

Girls will always feel that they need more shoes. =P

So here are some of the nice Mary Janes I found:

 Simple and elegant

 Modified to several straps

 The one on your left =)  This one is really nice! Love it the most...

 As free as a feather in the ones without high heel...

 I just love this red one =)

 Sweet with ruffles =)

Photos were taken from Sartorialist, Angy's tearoom, and other websites. 

I can't wait to go get one myself...

Wait for me my dear Mary Jane...(sounds so wrong..lol)

That's all for now...gotta run =P

不如一个废人

          当别人都在辛勤的挖掘知识，我还在做什么白日梦？当老师问我问题时，怎么可以答不出来？当我们被要求成为最关心病人的一族，我却失败得很难看。看着一个个落空的期待像泡沫般消失，我真的好难过。好比抓住了彩虹的尾巴，已经握在手里了，只要我使点力就是我的了，但就是因为自己没力气支撑，而失手掉下来。


          无言啊。只能说我真的很没用。其实内心是知道问题出在哪里的，不是吗？虽然一直在追逐前面的人潮，却怎么也追不上。你可以说我很怕输，但在这样的环境...很难控制自己的思想，告诉自己不必在意别人有多厉害多勤劳多独立多认真。有时候觉得自己站在这地球上，连废人都不如。


          对不起，让你的眼睛看到那么负面的东西。我想也许只是一时想不通吧。


          加油啊，猫咪...要好好为自己的未来和病人的健康负责啊。

背对背

不知道为何

最近
忧愁总是不肯放过我

绞尽脑汁

就是搞不懂

是什么原因

你我渐行渐远

直到

背对背

看不到对方

我再也不知道

你在做什么

想什么

烦恼什么

真希望

我只是太多心

我想

也许有些人

就是只能成为

生命中的过客

只是

曾经

我以为

我们不会如此

When You Look Me In The Eyes - Jonas Brothers (Jayesslee/Andrew Garcia c...

原来可以开心的吃饭，慢慢的咀嚼每种菜肴，也不是件理所当然的事。
大家要好好珍惜每一口食物啊...

我不禁问自己...为什么要让自己那么难受？根本一开始都不是自己喜欢做的事情...为什么不能有志气一点...（泣）

Random

在学校里的爱情是无知的..
在社会中的爱情可能是有目的的..
只有遇到逆境仍走下去的爱情才是永恒的..


亲爱的，我们是哪一种呢？哈哈

Bruno Mars - Who Is

纸镇

是自己太高估自己了吗？

心情像块纸镇，在水中往下沉...

好想说服自己这只是生命里一件再小不过的事

但原来自己是骗不了自己的...

随口说说

突然觉得好无力，似乎要做什么都无法达成。
突然觉得很难过，因为好久没回家。
累是大家都有的问题，我也知道。
忙盲忙...还有时间给自己和家人吗？
我只是学生而已
以后不是更忙？
那是不是不用顾家了？
懊恼到了极点。

If I Die Young by The Band Perry

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

Uh oh, uh oh

Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother
She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh and
Life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no
Ain't even grey, but she buries her baby

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had, just enough time

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had, just enough time

And I'll be wearing white, when I come into your kingdom
I'm as green as the ring on my little, cold finger, I've
Never known the lovin' of a man
But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand, there's a
Boy here in town who says he'll love me forever,
Who would have thought forever could be severed by
The sharp knife of a short life, well,
I've had, just enough time

So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls
What I never did is done

A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell them for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

Uh oh (uh, oh)
The ballad of a dove (uh, oh)
Go with peace and love
Gather up your tears, keep 'em in your pocket
Save them for a time when you're really gonna need them, oh

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had, just enough time

So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls 

A midst all these busy daily routines... I sometimes forget about myself. 

Which, to me, is really scary.

Hierarchy

In whatever we face in our daily lives,

There will always be a hierarchy.

Sometimes I really hate it.

No matter how good you try to be

No matter how Bersopan santun you are

Its always there to step on your dignity.

Relationships (Friendship, Boy-girl relationship...whatever)

Studying in a hospital full of Profs, Docs, nurses...

Working life...

All the different hierarchy bothers me

Yet its difficult to change

Well. 

Just another pointless post.

Again.

罪人

其实

猫咪疲倦了

真的好累

好累

这些是是非非

能不能离我远点？

其实

猫咪是罪人

因为不够决绝

不够残忍

让更多人受伤难过

明天

会是好天吗？

这样简单的幸福

有的时候

我想我没权利得到